The Call

“It is possible to refute the Call… but life is not about being safe and secure; life is about growing, learning, transforming.”
SHARON BLACKIE, IF WOMEN ROSE ROOTED

If you read my last post in this series, you’ll know I have chosen to embark on my own version of the eco-heroine’s journey, inspired by the structure set out by Sharon Blackie in If Women Rose Rooted. I’ve already taken stock of my position in the Wasteland, and now I’m moving on to the Call. In reality, the Call has come many times for me before, but each time I have chosen to ignore it, making some excuse about why it wasn’t relevant, why I couldn’t deal with it right then. A few weeks ago, the Call came again, and I felt its power and urgency like no other time before. This Call demanded I take action before it is too late.

Unlike previously, the Call came in many different guises, in seemingly all different elements of my life. It is as if one phase of my existence is drawing to a close, the phase where I close my eyes and don’t acknowledge or accept the present moment, choosing to linger in the past or skip ahead to the future - this phase seems to be ending; it needs to end. The Call is not just a shout or scream anymore, it is a piercing cry that ruptures the fabric of my being, urging me to alter my path. It comes from Dan (my husband), my parents, the world around me, but I can ignore all of those, and have done in the past; this Call also comes from my soul, a deep understanding that it is time.

It is time to heed the Call to take control of my own life, to accept that sometimes I will get it wrong, but that I can apologise, learn from it, and do better next time: expecting perfection is not the answer, though it is certainly what I’ve come to expect from myself over the years. It’s time to listen to the Call, to open my eyes to the injustices that occur on a daily basis all around me, that do affect me and what I believe in, no matter what perhaps I once believed. My quest, then, is two-fold: to become more aware of the present moment (and all that entails), and to take control of that moment (without succumbing to fear).

This time, I’m not turning back.